LETTER: Floridian homeowners now need a rowboat

I see a lot in newspapers and on TV and radio stations about this bright thing in the sky  —  some kind of source of heat, light of day and happiness all over. With it, you're able to wear light clothing.

I'm told it's called the land of the Sunshine State. Just where would that be? Is it part of the Southeastern of the USA, or do I need a passport to get there?

I did live in the vacation land of the world for four years  —  warm to hot 99 percent of the time; a nice place to visit, but you would not want to live there.

So, if anyone out there knows where this thing they call the sun is, please tell me where, so I to can enjoy the warm aspect of life with Ms Jacquie.

And, oh yes, one other item: If anyone knows of a riding lawnmower with pontoons, I would like to use it.

I have grass up to my — yes that's where it's at. 

It pays to have a rowboat in your yard.

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: LETTER: Floridian homeowners now need a rowboat