One approach to life is, “Be tough. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. If someone does, strike back and make them hurt worse than they hurt you.”
It's an interesting approach. Fend off your enemies. Put up walls (literal and figurative) between you and those who are different. Protect yourself at all costs. If someone wrongs you, get even and never speak to them again.
If this advice is followed throughout your life, you will wind up a hermit. You will have no friends and no family with which to interact.
Periodically we hurt one another. Sometimes it is intentionally done by someone who has an ax to grind, or by someone who was taught early on that getting their own way at any cost is the only way to live.
But most often hurting another is accidental. A slip of the tongue, a thoughtless act, or behavior engaged because of fear happen frequently. They are not intentional.
Seeking forgiveness from that person right away is paramount so it won’t fester into something much worse – like making an enemy. You cannot simply say, “Well, that’s their problem,” because that is not quite true. It is your problem as well. And it can spread to affect others, too.
Jesus provides a very good teaching regarding how to handle such enmity. He taught, “Love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”
This lesson is counterintuitive. Love my enemy? He or she is my enemy. How can I love them? Why should I? They hate me, so I’ll hate them back!
Do good to someone who hates me? Why would I do that? They hate me and would probably be very suspicious that my actions are a way of trying to sneak in and exact revenge somehow.
Bless those who curse me? Sounds like I would just be asking for more abuse. No thank you.
Pray for those who hurt me? Sure, I can do that. “Oh God, send that person an infestation of lice. Amen.”
The thing is, Jesus knows what he is talking about. When you love your enemy, you are loving a child of God. You may not approve of the person’s actions, but you can love the person.
When you do good to those who hate you, they will eventually learn to trust you and understand that you have a good heart. Any prejudice they might have about you will eventually disappear.
When you bless those who curse you, eventually they will stop cursing you because they will recognize your genuine desire to put away any animosity between you.
When you pray for God’s blessing and healing for an enemy will have tremendous results, the healing may not be in the other person, but in your mind and heart.
There may be two different results when following this teaching of Jesus. The first is, your enemy may very well change his or her behavior and attitude toward you. This would be a tremendous blessing all the way around.
The second is, your enemy will not change, but your heart will. Your enemy will no longer be your enemy in your heart. And this releases you to move forward in your life, free from the strain and stress of concern for healing a relationship you did your best to mend.
Love, do good, bless, and pray. This will make all the difference.
The Rev. Mark Broadhead is pastor at Laurel Hill Presbyterian Church and First Presbyterian Church of Crestview.
This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: BROADHEAD: Here's why Jesus said love your enemy