Webster's 1828 online dictionary defines civility as "the state of being civilized; refinement of manners; politeness.
"Complaisance; courtesy; decorum of behavior in the treatment of others — civility respects manners."
Not too long ago, we could have a conversation with another person about something which we didn't agree upon and still walk away as friends; we would agree to disagree.
These days, a disagreement over certain subjects is likely to turn angry, cause hurt feelings and, in some cases, even cause a shouting match.
Obscenities may even begin to be hurled.
I think reality television's shout fests have perpetuated some of this, but I also think a general lack of civility in our culture foments the philosophy of "you must agree with me or an eruption may occur."
What has happened to cause this and why, as a society, do we allow it?
While I agree we all have our own thoughts and views about a subject, can't we be polite to those who don't share our view point?
Our society now tolerates the shootings of police and deputies, firefighters and EMTs; teachers are attacked and raped in their classrooms; politicians holding meetings are shouted down; and stores are looted, homes are robbed and strangers walk up and knock out random people just for fun.
We do not love our neighbor.
When I went to school, we were taught deportment (the manner in which one conducts oneself, behavior); in fact, we received a grade in deportment.
We were taught to hold our tongues, tempers, fists and bad attitudes, and to show good manners at all times, even under difficult circumstances.
Our civility has deteriorated partly because of social media's anonymity; one can make random comments without any consequences.
Another reason is that schools no longer have time to teach manners, and many parents are frazzled from work.
We all want to be right, but sometimes we aren't. We need to graciously allow another to have an opinion that differs from ours, and be kind in what we say and do.
After all, that is what the Lord commanded when He said in Matthew 22:39, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
Janice Lynn Crose lives in Crestview with her husband, Jim; her two rescue collies, Shane and Jasmine; and two cats, Kathryn and Prince Valiant.
This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: CROSE: Mourning the fall of civility