![“… To build relationships, we must do the hard work of connecting with other people — face to face,” Mark Broadhead says, adding too many people have important conversations in text messages. “We must risk ourselves and our feelings to live in community with other people.” [Pixabay.com]](http://127.0.0.1/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/ghows-DA-47fa28fa-8b4f-5642-e053-0100007f2101-65682786.jpeg)
Words. We live by them. We read them, speak them and hear them.
When communicating a verbal message to someone there are three parts: your words, your tone of voice and your body language. All three make up a message. Here is the weight of each portion: body language — 55 percent; tone of voice — 38 percent; words — 7 percent.
When talking on the telephone, you immediately lose over half your ability to effectively convey a message.
When sending an email or a text, you lose 93 percent of your ability to effectively communicate. And yet, email and texting are the fastest growing, most often used form of communication between people. The recipient can only infer the emotional content and true meaning of that type of message.
Capitalizing words, punctuation marks and emoticons all attempt at conveying the true message, but the message can still be misconstrued. I love you. I love you! Each attempts to convey a different emphasis.
I have seen couples furiously text back and forth, arguing after a message was misread and misinterpreted. I have seen couples go through break-ups and divorce plans by texting each other. I have even seen people sitting in the same room text one another instead of talk orally.
It seems as though our society is slowly losing its ability to talk with one another face to face. The art of conversation, of spending time together enjoying each other’s company, is slowly dwindling.
God did not create us to live separate from one another. We have been created to live in a community, which means we interact with one another, we become involved in each other’s lives, we support one another in difficult and challenging times and we rejoice with each other in times of celebration.
As the Bible says, “You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.” (James 3:18, The Message Bible)
Yes, building solid relationships is hard work. It can be easy to hide behind a cellphone, an email address, or a social media account. But to build relationships, we must do the hard work of connecting with other people — face to face. We must risk ourselves and our feelings to live in community with other people.
This coming week we celebrate Valentine’s Day — a day set aside to remember those in our lives whom we love and who love us. It is a day to give thanks for the special relationships we have. Be sure to let the special people in your life how important they are to you.
Do it face to face if possible. Convey the full message. It may take a special effort, but it will be completely worth it.
The Rev. Mark Broadhead is pastor at Laurel Hill Presbyterian Church and First Presbyterian Church of Crestview.
This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: The importance of face-to-face communication